Comments

Peter: I think that that at the begging of your essay you should make it cleat about what question you are going to be talking about. From what I read in the beginning of your essay it seems that the question that you write about is to describe a character. You do a hood job specially by going into their background and orating pus know how her life is like. Try tk get in more into the charecter. I really like how you ended your essay it was really strong it helped support the question you were talking about

Shiyun: I really do not know what question you are talking about.it seems like if you are just describing the book. Also you need transitions when you move on to the next paragrsph. I also like the description of the book. I already read this book and I think you did a good job of describing it it helped me understand the book beter. You should focus a litle more on the characters you should had spent a litle more time on them. Overall you did a really good job on ur essay.

Ianna: You seem to have no transition between your paragraphs. You did s really hood job of answering the question. You did a good job by telling ous how the purpose of writing the book was to show of his life and to inform ous about his lifestyle. I also thought you did Good job on telling ous the weakness of the boom. Overall I think that you wrote a good essay.